misseditdamn

Yeah It has started again.. !! When we try to look for  a set pattern in random events we end up cluttering our mind. Set patterns not always are set, they might look following a sequence but they all individually are  independent events.Last 4-5 days have done so much to disturb the pattern of my thought process that it's almost unbearable not to shout out!! Voila!!! Things should slow down a bit.. They must rather :). Is it time to move on??? Maybe.. Sachin has retired from one days.. May be for me too only long innings are left. Let's create a classic Catch 22... ; )Let's kill a process which is not initiated by you.. catch lies in you love this process..you very well know..it's unresponsive and the button to kill it is not there. Actually i feel pretty good   One of the most beautiful part about being responsive is that you can't kill ur idea....

One of the most amazing thing about us being human is certainty of uncertain.
Wats happening shashwat !! Will i ever be able to stoop questioning?

Events  I'll follow you now... Stop!! Following me!

Proceedings!!

Yess!! It's been already 3 attempts and something dithered or shattered me! Or we can be more humane ! No! Humiliation most of the time works as motivation!! 

Lots of happenings around my life and you know what ..It's all moving so fast!!! And It's all happening again... It's really amazing to hear echos of past.. Haunting is not at all bad in most of the cases. But yeah I'm sick and tired of analyzing same pattern and finding no chaotic order.
What was that!!??? My longest short story!! Yes ! It is!
The insanity of relationship directly proportional to weirdness of individuals. As in case, It has the virtue of being a roll model. So what went wrong? Almost everything? May be , Being judgmental is not my biggest pro's , so i'll maintain that . Nothing went wrong.. Everything is set and perfect. The idea itself is rebellious.

It seems nice to have spring around you, one of the finest time of year, you feel great. But we are not supposed to have it all the time. Yeah that short instinct, A short lived memory.
 Actually it was bound to happen and yes it was designed so.. but the most disturbing element is where lies the onus! I can't let any tom dick & harry take a decision on my take of life. If it were you or me for an instance, could have been more charming and acceptable. Destiny! Ah! That slash of silver knife... Cold .. Painless...Cold Fire.... Burns coldly!! Smoldering!!

It's ok dude!! Happens ! Nobody promised me that life will be so mushy and rosy...  Let it be!
The process is initiated!! Just need to find momentum along with.

Happy B'day!!

Lets put it the way it ought to:

Happy B'day Nazia! Birthdays have always been a remarkable day as they indicate the maturity we attain and at the same time they give reality bite... that these much of our years we have already passed. What makes your B'day special?? for me ... yes it is! It's a celebration of unspoken, untried, captive symphony. It is a cry of rejoice... Its confetti ... Its non-parallel quotient.
Men will come and men will go but i go on forever.. I love your this kind of aura. Meanwhile I am getting not pretty rational but instead trying to signify the essence of rationality. .

What can i offer you... well nothing is permanent... All is destroyable.... What about identity?

The candles are lit across the sky,
                                Blooming flowers in the rye.
On this lovely day o joy,
                                 A wonderful beginning,, an honest try.

Happy Birth day sweetheart!! Lots of joy, happiness,
 Two lines were also there..

On this day can I ask for a  favour,
                              Don't go away from me.... ever n ever...
I loved you and that love is die refusing...

I loved you; 

even now I may confess,

Some embers of my love their fire retain;

But do not let it cause you more distress,

I do not want to sadden you again.

Hopeless and tongue-tied, yet I loved you dearly

With pangs the jealous and the timid know;

So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,

I pray God grant another love you so.

The Truth!!

                                                                                                                              

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.

-Albus Dumbledore

I have been thinking about it since so long... but whatever may be the circumstances I could not...

Truth is indeed one of the most beautiful and terrible thing... What are the virtues of truth?? Shall we calculate the moral value of truth as well?? What are the ethics to do so?

What importance a piece of truth be having if it has no material substance or lets say... simply an outcome?

For example: Lets say.. I am hungry... and I know i can't eat.. In this case what will be the importance of the truth "I am hungry".

Is Truth a superficial ornament to decorate the morality? or It is mere a piece of expression?

Absolute Truth, Organised Truth, Organised lie and Absolute lie... These are the possible differentiation of Truth i can figure out!

All have their considerable virtues and all have their corresponding usage. I personally feel organised lie is somehow as equal as organised truth except for one thing , former has much more after-effects...

                                                                                                               

Cather in the Rye!!

Welcome Joy n Welcome sorrow!!

Come today n come tomorrow!!

Alas!! Things are perfectly in non functional state. WOW!! Actually I was not.. But anyway! So again this has happened Mr. Shashwat.. Time to hit the panic button!! Donno!! The later the better.... :)

How many more to come n go Shashwat.... Stabilization has to be a consortium for the monumental awkwardness!! Wow! I didn't get that.. but i like the sound...
Lets come to the point... I just want to assert i m not like one you think... I have not fallen from the grace of heaven .... I m also a human being and being human reflects various positive n negative traits. Well i cannot rise above and pronounce my legacy to gods.. Or Maybe I....
I will be writing more .. Watch out!! Feels nice!

Desperate Measures!

Signing off!! Will be in touch soon!! Watch out this space!

**** Hmmm naz ..... Think ....Sometimes Ignorance is not bliss!

7th January 2010

I don't want to write ............

A whirlpool of thoughts........

I don't know...... if everything is okay or not...

Mind is restless we should seriously consider euthanasia !!

A serious note of catharsis is needed.... Now time is well poised for a serious decision making efforts.

Die my Darling!!

I missed my train today... a very unprofessional attitude.... Mistake...

Mistakes should not go unpunished!! Said the man whom i admire... The Swami Vivekananda.
Lots of love is needed ... Please don't let me collapse...
Right left Straight!!
Shashwat wake up!! Do something before it's too late.

SOS!!!

"Welcome joy and welcome sorrow !!

I've been sitting here,Tryin to find myself, I get behind myself,I need to rewind myself!!

Hie there!! I am really in no sync. Wats happening.. How things r shaping up and where it will lead. I was really hopeful and delighted about Nov 2nd. But when i met her though for 5 mins( honestly i was disapppointed) I could not feel everything is ok. Am i pushing too far? I could not find the comfort in her demeanor. What was not acceptable? What went wrong... well to be honestly.. i s'pose everything. Its been 2 days... I am yet to reply her sms. Yes I was ofcourse talking about content... How could i feel content? when everything was not on sync. "More than enough the way we met"??? Should we.. ?? Shouldn't we??? Thats a kind of hanging in between!
Was it not supposed to be the way it went... If yes i think it wasn't.. I really need to talk to you..
I am looking forward to see you.. ASAP. But how it will be?
Okay so you've not answered the call :) I assume office me ho.. may be not right time. :) (These smily's doesn't mean i m smiling)
Sach me I was little taken aback and was not really ... i m li'll dishearted.... I thought i'll not talk to you.. but ... everything's fare. At the end of the day.. I am not feeling too good... From tomorrow i'll be on tour. Agra-Jaipur-Khajuraho-varanasi-Orcha... It would be lovely to be at Orcha.... I love that place.. small village.. Tranquil Betwa.... I wonder when i would be able to go in there with you...Perhaps Never...

Loosing strings Shashwat... Tie them before its too late....

Not this song.... Was it in the playlist??? Not Again.. Though i love it but not now... I'll not change it.. Let it be... Curious to know which song?? :)

Gloomy Sunday
Sunday is Gloomy,
My hours are slumberless,
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Well its really nice :)

Imagination!! What if you slept? And what if, In your sleep You dreamed? And what if, in your dream, You went to heaven And there plucked A strange and Beautiful flower? And what if, You had the flower In your hand?

Signin Off!!